Ah, it has been awhile since I've updated. Homeschooling has me busy, but I'm going to put forth a new effort to get my WTF moments out there. So, here we go.
This morning, well before dawn was creeping over the horizon, hubs and eye peeked our reluctant eyes open, becoming vaguely aware of a new day barreling down on us at warp speed. Things were quiet, but that lasted all of three minutes when we heard the kids starting to stir...loudly. Our marital affections had been on hiatus for more than a few days (a record for us), so with ginger footsteps, Hubs crept out of bed and shut our bedroom door. Click went the lock. A few moments of amorous affection began to ensue before the herd completely broke out of their pens and we would be, uh, interrupted yet again.
Fate hates us having sex. No sooner had the thought of even remotely thinking of doing such a thing with each other crossed our minds in mutual agreement when a loud rapping came at the door. "Mama...Daddy...you lock the door?"
Samuel. Sammy-boo, Samwise. He was up.
"Yes, I called out. We'll be out in just a minute." Sad to have to admit that our time together was probably going to be just that, but I would take anything at this point.
Silence on the other side of the door. He bought it!
*knock, Knock, KNOCK* "Mama, Daddy," he called again in such a sweet sing-song voice. "Blue Bear wants to see you!" Jeez, how do you even think about sex after that?
"Coming," I sighed while Steve grumbled all the way to the shower. Blue Bear was very pleased.
*and for my family who reads this, sorry for the subject and all, but this was seriously funny. so if my bros are wretching right about now....hahahahahahaha!
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Friday, September 5, 2008
"Wait for it..."
I flicked on tennis today and my oldest son sat down to watch it. The kids are beginning to bud into sports nuts like their mom, but what floored me was how into the match he was. He kept track of score and seriously, when a serve was lobed over the net, he whispers..."wait for it..." to the returning player. I nearly choked. Kid already has an eye for the game and is giving tips. Armchair enthusiast! It's genetic.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Snow
Now this one happened a month ago, but I've been pinned down by sniper fire from lord WTF's minions. Thank goodness I move like a ninja.
Snow. The wonderful frozen stuff that falls from the heavens during winter. The stuff that should not even exist during the summer months unless Al Gore actually has some substance to his premonitions. So, my oldest boy decides to improvise.
Set the scene, Tommy trains laid out in intricate tracks. Gordon is doing his thing, but oh, does Mother Nature (aka Aaron in his little world) have something in store for him. Freak snowstorm in June! Tons of the powdery, and I do mean POWDERY, stuff thump onto his tender, halting rail traffic to a standstill. It's a white out!!
One month later and I'm still cleaning up an entire bottle of baby powder from all over the house. Talk about clogging the filter on the vacuum. :p
Snow. The wonderful frozen stuff that falls from the heavens during winter. The stuff that should not even exist during the summer months unless Al Gore actually has some substance to his premonitions. So, my oldest boy decides to improvise.
Set the scene, Tommy trains laid out in intricate tracks. Gordon is doing his thing, but oh, does Mother Nature (aka Aaron in his little world) have something in store for him. Freak snowstorm in June! Tons of the powdery, and I do mean POWDERY, stuff thump onto his tender, halting rail traffic to a standstill. It's a white out!!
One month later and I'm still cleaning up an entire bottle of baby powder from all over the house. Talk about clogging the filter on the vacuum. :p
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Girl shortage
I've often wondered about how our little girl will survive without another female influence other than myself in the house. Three brothers and a father just like them is going to be one hurdle after another for the rest of her life under our roof. We often seek out other neighborhood girls for her to play with and it has worked out so far.
Well, that was until yesterday. Samuel, the 2 year-old decided he wanted to be Cinderella after watching the movie, so he trekked upstairs and raided his sister's closet for her gown from Halloween. I figure what's the harm and doll him up in it. He's pleased. The girl decides she wants to join him as Sleeping Beauty and dashes upstairs to get her self purdiful, as she puts it and they both begin some sort of haphazard ballroom scene in the living room. It's quite precious.
The oldest boy comes upstairs and cracks up at his younger brother in a dress and goes upstairs in cackles. I figure he's going to go play trains or something, but no. He comes down in a fairy ballerina costume and begins to waltz with his sister. Something must have clicked with him that he was supposed to Prince Charming despite the drag outfit and began to chase he sis around the house with a shoe yelling, "Wait! Wait, don't go! What is your name?"
If my boys become drag queens, I'm blaming Disney.
Well, that was until yesterday. Samuel, the 2 year-old decided he wanted to be Cinderella after watching the movie, so he trekked upstairs and raided his sister's closet for her gown from Halloween. I figure what's the harm and doll him up in it. He's pleased. The girl decides she wants to join him as Sleeping Beauty and dashes upstairs to get her self purdiful, as she puts it and they both begin some sort of haphazard ballroom scene in the living room. It's quite precious.
The oldest boy comes upstairs and cracks up at his younger brother in a dress and goes upstairs in cackles. I figure he's going to go play trains or something, but no. He comes down in a fairy ballerina costume and begins to waltz with his sister. Something must have clicked with him that he was supposed to Prince Charming despite the drag outfit and began to chase he sis around the house with a shoe yelling, "Wait! Wait, don't go! What is your name?"
If my boys become drag queens, I'm blaming Disney.
Toothpaste Hell
Of all the art mediums I support, Crest is not one of them.
Our ever creative artist, Rachel, decided that Play-dough and markers were out of style and ventured into the arena of pasty fluoride meets couch, carpet, walls and wood. One would think something that washes so easily from our mouths daily would be a breeze to get out of fabric, but no. Murphy says no.
Housecleaning hint for parent's with rabid children #12
-Use stiff bristled brush when scrubbing toothpaste out of anything and lots of hot water.
You'll hate the smell of mint forever.
Our ever creative artist, Rachel, decided that Play-dough and markers were out of style and ventured into the arena of pasty fluoride meets couch, carpet, walls and wood. One would think something that washes so easily from our mouths daily would be a breeze to get out of fabric, but no. Murphy says no.
Housecleaning hint for parent's with rabid children #12
-Use stiff bristled brush when scrubbing toothpaste out of anything and lots of hot water.
You'll hate the smell of mint forever.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Beware the Refridgerator Art
Lord WTF felled one of his own minions and I caught a glimpse into some of the dastardly booby (sp?) traps he has set for me.
Case in point, my oldest son. Whilst I was away upstairs tending his youngest brother, I hear him padding around on the first floor. Then, the telltale crash and crunch of face meeting glasses. Silence and then the hitching sobs. This is a kid who would rather eat dirt than cry in front of anyone, so I knew he must have been hurt or at least shook up pretty badly.
He meets me on the stairs with blood pouring out of two tiny cuts on his eyebrow. Any mother of a son knows this region of the body well and how profusely it will bleed no matter how shallow the wound, so we patched him up and he's sporting a lovely black and swollen eye for the next week.
After a brief respite, we asked the boy how he fell considering he is extremely agile and like a little spider monkey most of the time.
"Ma, the paper, it came after me and I fell."
The paper. So, before I start checking for killer newspapers flying about, I go downstairs and pull a CSI inspection. Follow the blood trail and spatter to the pool of crimson on the floor. A-ha! Seems Miss Rachel was doing her art earlier in the day and had placed one of her creations on the fridge, but used a weak magnet and said masterpiece floated gracefully to the ground. Now, if I would have stepped on it, I'm sure I would be nursing a broken tail bone by now, but a 5 year-old bounces more.
Just remember, not even such niceties as children's art work is what it seems.
Case in point, my oldest son. Whilst I was away upstairs tending his youngest brother, I hear him padding around on the first floor. Then, the telltale crash and crunch of face meeting glasses. Silence and then the hitching sobs. This is a kid who would rather eat dirt than cry in front of anyone, so I knew he must have been hurt or at least shook up pretty badly.
He meets me on the stairs with blood pouring out of two tiny cuts on his eyebrow. Any mother of a son knows this region of the body well and how profusely it will bleed no matter how shallow the wound, so we patched him up and he's sporting a lovely black and swollen eye for the next week.
After a brief respite, we asked the boy how he fell considering he is extremely agile and like a little spider monkey most of the time.
"Ma, the paper, it came after me and I fell."
The paper. So, before I start checking for killer newspapers flying about, I go downstairs and pull a CSI inspection. Follow the blood trail and spatter to the pool of crimson on the floor. A-ha! Seems Miss Rachel was doing her art earlier in the day and had placed one of her creations on the fridge, but used a weak magnet and said masterpiece floated gracefully to the ground. Now, if I would have stepped on it, I'm sure I would be nursing a broken tail bone by now, but a 5 year-old bounces more.
Just remember, not even such niceties as children's art work is what it seems.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Slushies
If it isn't lord WTF keeping me busy, it is the Spring. When you live in a place where winter lasts about 5 months, you don't take the wonderful days of sun and balmy weather for granted, thus my lack of postings in the past month, but here's a new one.
Just when I thought I could sneak away and spend a few moments lost in the latest novel I'm reading, I hear the distinctive sound of a child skidding across the floor and crashing into the ground. Silence. Then came the hitching screams and wails. My mommy sense told me this was big and up the stairs comes my oldest son, bleeding profusely from his eyebrow. Glasses smashing into a little boys face on impact are very unforgiving, but thankfully, produce very shallow wounds.
Suddenly, everyone under the tender age of six in the house has a boo-boo that needs tending. Amazing how invisible owies pop up on the rest of the pack when one of their brethren is recouping. Will Tylenol take care of it? No. How about a band-aid? Well, sort of, but the magical elixir that puts all hearts and gashes at ease is slushies. Hooray for syrup infused, sugar laden blue slushies, straight from our own personal arsenal of kitchen equipment.
Not even lord WTF can beat my secret weapon to quiet and content kids. YA-HA!
Just when I thought I could sneak away and spend a few moments lost in the latest novel I'm reading, I hear the distinctive sound of a child skidding across the floor and crashing into the ground. Silence. Then came the hitching screams and wails. My mommy sense told me this was big and up the stairs comes my oldest son, bleeding profusely from his eyebrow. Glasses smashing into a little boys face on impact are very unforgiving, but thankfully, produce very shallow wounds.
Suddenly, everyone under the tender age of six in the house has a boo-boo that needs tending. Amazing how invisible owies pop up on the rest of the pack when one of their brethren is recouping. Will Tylenol take care of it? No. How about a band-aid? Well, sort of, but the magical elixir that puts all hearts and gashes at ease is slushies. Hooray for syrup infused, sugar laden blue slushies, straight from our own personal arsenal of kitchen equipment.
Not even lord WTF can beat my secret weapon to quiet and content kids. YA-HA!
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